Somethings just never change… Or do they?

I’d like to think that overtime and through life experiences people change. I believe it, I am proof of it. By no means am I perfect, or have I reached all, heck half of my goals, what I do know I that I try to change or progress a little each day. Sadly, not everyone is that way or has reached their point of growth, and remain stagnant. “I didn’t come this far to only come this far”, Fearless Motivation.  

 This past weekend was supposed to be one of those weekends that goes own in the history books for any family. Gianna’s Sweet 16. My sister in law flew in from New York, my cousins and their families came from Orlando, lots of dance friends were coming and I would be in the same room as my ex, his wife and their family. Yes, you heard that correctly. No, we don’t get along, but for Gianna, I will do anything. Besides who wouldn’t be able to put aside any difference for four hours. Right? I had very high hopes that we could.  

Ever have that moment where every part of you screams NOOOOOO but your heart says YESSSSSSS and completely takes over. That beautiful heart of ours… Well, that is the feeling I had when Gianna says to me “Mom, my dad is going to throw my Sweet 16 party. So, you don’t have to spend the money mom and because you do enough”. Well, I thought my that would be nice, It’s hard out here for this single mama.  

As the months got closer I inquired about the party and got kind of shut down and shut out of anything having to do with the party. My feelings were hurt. This is my baby. And the enemy played with my mind a little, always looking for a place to sneak in and cause chaos. Gianna and I had a conversation and we shut that enemy straight down. I began to look forward to celebrating with loved ones and for Gianna to see everyone, both families having a good time. Unfortunately, within 10 minutes of being there, ignorance took over and drama ensued, cops were called and mean things were said. Thankfully the bulk of the guests hadn’t arrived.  

 Rather than run with my initial thought of grabbing my kid and running far away from those people and the party, I chose a teachable moment. I explained that although we would like to believe that people change, some don’t and choose not to. I also explained that for some all we can do is stay away and pray for them. I turned my frown completely upside down and walked in with my head held high and enjoyed my girl, her friends and family to the fullest. My only pain at this point from the evening is that my mom who adores my daughters, missed the party. [Symbol]  

 I won’t give the situation or persons anymore life than I have because to be honest it/they don’t deserve it. It took me to a place of hurt and it made me quite sad. Carl Gustav Jung said: “He who looks outside, dreams. He who looks inside, awakes. The definition of change is to make or become different. I get it, there are parts of me that I want to keep the same, that I like. I will keep those, but I will say there are somethings within myself that I don’t want to keep the same. Acknowledging those is the first step, working towards changing them is the second, and course of action is next.  

 I am thankful for growth, for life and opportunities to teach and grow. We cannot control the way others behave, but we can always control ourselves. Let’s wake up my dear friends. We owe it to ourselves and our future generations.  

Much Love, 

Amarilis ❤ 

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